There was a mother in a church who, was the head of the children’s ministry and taught her children that they must be kind to everyone. Her children understanding that, apologized to their peers whenever they were mean to them, meanwhile, their mother who was teaching them this, was talking to another mother about someone’s child. “David is so bad, and its no wonder! Look at his mother, she needs to stop dressing that way, I wonder what her husband thinks!” One day the girl of this mother heard her say something like this, and the next week the girl got in trouble and was brought to the mother. “…… why did you get in trouble?” the mother asked, the girl looks down at her feet, knowing she shouldn’t have said what she did. “I…. I told Emily that she is fat and she needs to eat less.” The mother looks in surprise at her daughter who usually was so kind to her peers, “That wasn’t very nice! What have I told you about being nice to others and loving them as Jesus does?” she demands. The girl starts to cry, and the mother getting irritated sends her to her father and turns back to the other mom and says, “I don’t know where she learned that.”
As a reader, we know exactly where Emily learned that behavior, in “The Family” Bailiwick suggests that the behaviors of the parents are the most influential in children’s lives. Emily was doing the exact same thing as her mother, she heard her mother talking about a parent behind their back. So while, her mom was teaching her not to do that, she was showing something else. How about this situation:
Ashley has three friends she usually spends her time with, and she has a boyfriend. The friends always encourage her and say kind things about her in front of her, but when she is with her boyfriend or not inside the house, they say their real thoughts about her. One says, “Ashley needs to be more open with us, she isn’t real with us.” another says, “Ashley acts so nice but I bet she really is mean, there is no way she can be so nice.” and the last one says, “Ashley is so dumb, I can’t believe she would say something like that.”
Ashley thought those three girls were really her friends, but they were talking behind her back. What we didn’t see is that those three girls, their moms did the same thing, and talked about other mothers that way.
God has a lot to say about this,
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. -Titus 2: 3-5
Several things are happening in this text, the first thing we see is that older women are to be “Reverent” in their living, being reverent is related to respect. So the way they are to live is respectfully, they are live as women to be looked up to. The older women are to be kind to everyone, and not like the mother in the first story, and they are not to get drunk everyday. Older women, the way that younger women, starts with the example that you start and give. You are to be above reproach and to love the people around you. Children’s ministry and youth ministry are so important because that is where children and teens start to embark on their journey of faith with God. How are they supposed to look up and respect the people teaching them, if those people are doing the opposite of what they say? How are the children and teens supposed to listen to the word of God when there is a huge tree of hypocrisy in front of their eyes?
There was a woman, I respected so much, she spoke truth, and she lived truth, she was not afraid to call out what is wrong and against God, and she was ready to cry and pray with everyone. She was an incredible woman, she is with Jesus now, but when she was alive, her life, showed, that she was reverent. She never once, through her cancer, through the roughness of the people around her, she never spoke bad about someone, she never slandered anyone, she didn’t reduce even the weakest and poorest person. I looked up to her because she always walked the way that she taught. The mother that was talking bad about the child and the other mom was not being reverent.
The second thing we notice in this verse is that the older women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children. If the older woman is always arguing with her husband, and always sending her children off to someone else, how can the younger women learn about family life, and family care? They are to teach younger women to be self-controlled, lets go back to the two stories. The mother in the first story was not showing self- control when she spoke about the child and the other mother. How can the younger women respect and learn from older women when they do things like that? In the second story, the girls had learned from their mother how to talk about people behind their backs and only being friends for what they can get out of the relationship. They didn’t have reverence or self- control.
The older women are also to teach the younger women to be busy at home and kind to all, and to submit to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. The word ‘malign’ implies a sense of evil, this verse says that “No on will speak evil or slander about the word of God.”. Now, I’m not harking on the older ladies, the younger women have responsibility too, but for now, the way younger women are supposed to learn is from the older women. So mothers, what mother are you? Grandmothers, what woman are you? Are you the mother in the first story? Now, to some older ladies, I am a youngin, I am only 22, but, I have been through so many women’s groups. Everytime that women’s group ends, the one thing I always remember is that, I need to be an example to younger women. How do I do that? By being a woman who is respectful, self- controlled, pure, and submissive to my soon-to-be husband.
How can the younger generation learn this if no one teaches them? Sure pastors can talk about it, but they don’t really know. Men think and feel differently and they don’t necessarily understand and know how to do the things that women do. See, in America we have this idea that feminism is the newest and greatest thing, but the fact is, the Bible is very specific about the role of women. How can we be a modern feminist and be Christians at the same time? The word “feminism” basically just means that women can work just like men and vote, it doesn’t mean that women can do everything that men can. I can’t pick up two huge tires but I know some guys who can, I don’t know any ladies who can tell you everything about every car engine, but I know a ton of men who can. It is not bad to submit to your husband, in fact scripture specifically says you should not withhold yourself from your husband.
Older ladies, I know you have a lot of life experience, but, I think we need to step back and look at scripture, are we living as women who are pleasing to God? Is the way we are living allowing us to teach younger ladies, and in a way that they will respect us?
I promise next time Ill talk to the younger ladies and ladies my age, but it all starts with you.