The “M” word

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                             After a year of waiting, in three days, the day I’ve been looking forward to since December 6, 2014, is going to be here. The day that little girls dream about, the day that women look forward to more than any other day in their lives, the day that is all about them. My wedding day is coming up, and there’s so much thats changed in me and around me, there’s so much that I’m looking forward to, things I am scared about and things that I won’t be able to predict. I am marrying the man of my dreams, in front of friends, family, and Jesus.

                            The thing is… I’ve never been one of those girls who thought about love, weddings, or engagements. When my roommates were helping him plan for the engagement I couldn’t think of how I would want someone to propose to me. I had no idea because, I never thought about it before, it was always something I knew would happen one day, but I didn’t know it would happen so soon. I never thought about how I would want my wedding to go or what kind of dress I wanted, I always thought I would do that later on in life. Then Matt proposed to me and suddenly I was in a world outside of my comfort zone, I had to think about what flowers I wanted, dress I wanted, and what food we would serve. I had to think about my vows and what I would say to the man I absolutely fell for! Suddenly I had to admit my feelings to him, I had to learn to communicate, I had to learn how to be less selfish.

                          The reality is that, God is teaching me who He has purposed me to be through all of this marriage stuff and I’m sure that after Saturday He will continue to teach me. Matt will help me to be more holy because I’ll have to think even more of how God wants me to treat him. There will be days that we won’t like each other and I’ll have to think of Christ and know I have to choose love. Many people have given me different advice on how I should act in marriage but the best advice I’ve found is in scripture. God has specific ways He wants us to act within marriage, and the husband and wife are to submit to one another in the way that Christ would have us. Submission these days is a huge turn off for women however, I would rather Matt be the head of the home and make decisions that I may not be the best at making. He is stronger than me for a reason, God created him that way. I am more sensitive than he is, God made me that way for a reason. Women and men are made in specific and beautiful ways. I intend to act that way.

                   I would lie if I said i wasn’t nervous about being married, I have to make “adult” and “married” friends, and I have to clean up after both of us, and be the housekeeper, I have to think about him as well when I do things, and I have to submit to his love language. Its a weird thing going from “you can’t have sex” to “you’re married now so its okay to have sex”. Part of me is a little worried about how all that will transition. Through it all though, I know God will use it for our good, and all I can hope and pray is that my wedding, and our marriage glorifies and honors the king of the heavens.  If you’re getting married, the best advice I can give you is, don’t stress about the details, and try to love him better each day.

Much love,

M

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