Dearest Levi

13876188_321266864873883_387871464350107652_n

Levi,

                   You’re a miracle baby. I dont know when youll hear about this but, I wasn’t supposed to be able to have you. Every doctor told me, since the age of 15 that it would be impossible. You are a testimony to the goodness, and faithfulness of God. You are not a mistake, you are not an accident. you are loved and wanted.

                 When you were born, you swallowed some amniotic fluid, and it got into your lungs. When you arrived you made no sounds. I looked at your daddy, and in my mind I kept yelling “Why isnt he crying? Why isnt he making any noise?” I couldnt get the words out for fear that you wouldn’t make it. They even called someone to come look at you because the doctor was worried about you too.

              Thankfully, ten minutes later they got all the fluid out and you began to cry. i have never felt more fear and anxiety in my whole life.  I was so, so scared that we would lose you. I still fear losing you.

            You are so loved by me and your daddy but even more by God. He will love you and can love you more than your daddy and I could even imagine. You are so wanted, we love you and we will always want you. Even when you turn away and do your own thing, we will love you and want you.

             We wont always be perfect, and sometimes we will wrong you, but, remember even then, we love you and are trying our best. You mean so much to us.

               I can’t wait to see who you become. Right now you are so happy and so silly and I pray youll always be like that. I want you to be happy and always know and feel loved. I also pray youll know and love Jesus. He is the reason you are here.

          My dearest Levi, you are so handsome. You are a product of love. You are a miracle. You are good. Do not let anyone tell you any differently. You are important, wanted, and you have a purpose. God has something so special planned for you. Every new thing you do make me and your daddy so happy and proud. I pray you will always treat the people around you with love and encouragement. Even when they suck, I pray youll be kind to them.

              Kindness is more than pride or envy. Love is more than evil. Remember who you are when things are hard. Remember how good God is. Know that your daddy and I will always be around to talk and to listen, even when we may not understand what you’re feeling. You are our son. Even more so, you belong to the Lord. You are more than you know. You are smart and loved. So remember, your parents thought you would never exist and you do, we thought we lost you and we didnt, you are here for a reason and we love you more than you know.

Love,

Mommy

Advertisements