Last night we ran out of formula, I fed Levi the best I could by nursing and then we went to sleep. Early this morning, even after nursing he was screaming because he was still hungry. I found myself at 8 a.m. running to Target to buy more formula.
I decided to stop by Chick- fil-a so that I could get breakfast and be awake while driving, and while going through the line to get my food, Levi was still screaming. Of course, theres nothing you can do while going through a drive through, I would just have to give him his pacifier after I got my food. At the window, the girls giving me my food heard Levi screaming and gave that look that all moms know too well. The “Oh my goodness can’t she control her child” look.
I see moms get this look often, whenever their kids throw tantrums or when their babies cry. its frustrating, because often times its other moms giving that look, sometimes its other couples. As a culture we have this idea that babies and kids are not supposed to cry, and if a mom has a crying kid or if their kid is throwing a fit that they are bad moms. I can say with full confidence that I am not a bad mom. I know that most other mothers aren’t either, no one is perfect either.
We need to stop giving those looks to moms and expecting them to be perfect, because no one can be. Heres a newsflash: CHILDREN CRY. Its just a fact. Stop expecting babies and kids to be perfect angels because they will never be. No one’s child will ever, be perfect. Now, I love my baby and to me he is the most perfect baby but I still know that he isn’t. I know that he will cry, he will have fits, and he will be fussy. I know that I will have to discipline him and spank him sometimes.
I often find that we are a pinterest culture, we expect moms to have it together, to lose the weight and always look put together. For them to have dinner ready every night for their family and the house clean. We have this idea that they should have perfect children that are dressed trendy and develop quickly. As a new mom I can tell you, the house might be totally clean for a day and then you get busy with the kids, theres always laundry, I can’t shower unless my husband is home, I barely have time to eat or dress myself. The “Pinterest life” is just not possible.
Stop putting all these expectations on mothers because they will never be fulfilled. Someone is always going to have an issue with something a mother is doing, even if she looks like the “pinterest mom” someone will have an issue with her. Do not look at me or any other mom when their child is crying like I should “have my life together” and be able to “control” my kid. So please, the next time you look at a mom and feel like judging her and her children, think about this. What if someone expected youth have your life together? Think about when others put unreasonable expectations on you. its not fair to anyone.
Alex Davies from the site Motherandbaby.co.uk, says that 64% of moms have had strangers act negatively to their baby crying in public and 19% even got disapproving sounds and negative comments. That to me, is ridiculous, if someone ever did that to me I would not be the one to turn away. Im a Christian but I do not put up with nonsense, I’m sorry, I would never look at you and say “oh gosh, you need to to do this or that” because I don’t know you. You don’t know me, we don’t know what the other is going through, maybe that moms baby has colic, maybe that moms baby needs a diaper change.
I encourage you to think before you do any of these things, please. It is not fair to moms, and when we do that to other moms, our children learn to judge and be rude to others from us which is not what any of us want.